Soap is not a condiment
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
