thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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