If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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