I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize