you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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