I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
