Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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