***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Enjoy the penises
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
