perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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