Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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