What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
