Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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