Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
