would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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