? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
