Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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