What did we do last night that was yellow?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
