doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
