don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
