I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize