btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
