What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
