This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
