I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
