It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize