if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
