She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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