There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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