It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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