She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
