He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize