Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
