Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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