Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
