Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
