Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
