so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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