i wish peter jackson would direct porn
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize