Having a random hookup so left but love u
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
