margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
