Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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