so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The Olympian is in my bed
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
