i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
