Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
