btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
