Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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