I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize