You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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