my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize