God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
