I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i already hear my dad disowning me
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
My vagina just recognized that song.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
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