Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
