This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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