I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
