We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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