You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
