How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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