I hate your face
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
