Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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