He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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