Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
