the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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