I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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