i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
