In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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